The hidden power of not (always) fitting in.

Hello everybody,

I would like to share with you the following video:  “The hidden power of not (always) fitting in. Marianne Cantwell | TEDxNorwichED” on Youtube.

Here also the Link:

Marianne Cantwell | TEDxNorwichED

This resonate’s with me big time at the moment. It feels really good to hear that there is (at least one) more people out there who feel the same way.

 

At the moment I think a lot about: What am I going to do next? How do make my skills and talents work? What could i learn/try next?

This does wreck my head a little bit because I put myself under pressure that way.

Am I not happy with what am I doing? Am I looking for something fulfilling or do I simply want more adventures and fun in my life?

I keep asking myself all those questions, but maybe its just enough to know, that there is no black and white but rather grey.

I find this comforting.
Before I keep on blahing about my confusing questions in my head (you are definitely not alone with this!), I would highly recommend to watch the video 🙂

Laterz!

 

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Forget about new years resolution….

 

Hi everybody!                                                                                       download

I hope I might get your attention with this one! This is something important to me and I would love to pass on my findings and ideas in regards of New Year’s resolutions.

Life is a learning process right? It took me a good while but I came to an important conclusion last year.

What if I don’t do New year’s resolutions anymore. Or at least none for the whole year but rather for only a quarter. New quarter’s resolutions!

You might be wondering what this is all about. Let me tell you this:

Of course I tried New Year’s resolutions before. They did work out sometimes, but not as often as I would like. You may know this feeling too: Setting your intentions and goals only to realize after a few months, that you completely forgot about them or that they won’t be happening at all anyway.

There is 2 issues here:

  • A year is a lot of time! And if you tend to be inpatient (like me), then you might don’t have the patience to wait for the whole year to if see your dream/goal came true. Also: it’s simply frustrating to wait a whole year and hope to somehow achieve all your intentions and goals.
  • It’s so easy to lose track on it. As I said, there is a lot of time in a year and depending on your goal, you either lose sight of your goal and the action plan, or your goal is so big that you run out of time and experience stress and time pressure.

I could list more points here but I think those two are the most important ones.

This conclusion lead me to an experiment, which I started this year.

Instead of writing down New Year’s resolutions for this year (2017), I changed it up a bit and shortened the period of time to 3 months instead of a whole year. New quarter’s resolutions!

So instead of giving myself a whole year aka 365 days to achieve any of my goals and plans, I shortened it to a quarter. And who really knows if your goals from the beginning of the year, are still lining up with what you want by the end of the year :). What if you change your mind in-between? Do you understand where I am going with this? 🙂

I felt way more comfortable and less stressed about this idea, so I sat down on the 1st of January and created a list of goals that I wanted to achieve by the end of March 2017.

I came up with 7 main points that I wanted to focus on:

  • Mediate daily and create a habit of doing so
  • Do Yoga and/or exercises at least two times a week
  • Sell a certain item (that I found very hard to sell previously)
  • Read a minimum of 5 books
  • Save a certain amount of money
  • Manage a certain stretch/yoga pose (“hug”)
  • Start writing

 

After 3 months I can proudly say that I achieved 6 out of 7 points on my list. I didn’t quiet manage that Yoga pose because I got a bit lazy with the practice for that pose. 2x a week wasn’t enough so I only managed it halfway through.

But to be honest: I can’t believe I managed that many points. I know I can be ambitious and all that but to actually see 6 of 7 points ticked of that list? That feels amazing!!!!!!

I officially state now, that this experiment worked!!

So what is the difference here?

Let me get into that for a small bit to explain you why this worked way better for me (and possibly will work better for other people too).

As I mentioned above: the time-frame. For many people it works way better if there is “instant” results instead of waiting for a long while.

If you set yourself a goal that you can realistically achieve within 3 months: Set it! Don’t just think: oh I gonna do that anyway. Actually do set it, because it will feel amazing to tick that of your list.

Don’t be afraid to also mention new habits. Or simply use something that you already do (like in my case the mediating) and keep focusing on it on a daily basis instead of every few days etc. That is the perfect goal too!

Make sure all the goals and plans you write down, are achievable within the 3 months. This will take away some unnecessary pressure and keeps you motivated to keep going.

If you have a bigger goal or a dream in mind that will definitely take a bit longer, for example 6 months or even a whole year (or more years), you can still put that down too.

However, to make it easier for yourself, every quarter you can focus on just a few steps that will lead up to the big goal of yours and will help you achieve the goal/dream step by step. This way you don’t have to put yourself under stress or pressure but still work actively towards your goal. And it will feel amazing to know you actively work towards it.

Sometimes we just need to keep in mind, that we can achieve big dreams or goals only step by step and not straight away.

One thing leads to the other and sometimes the road to our goal will be full of bumps and curvy.

Don’t overlook those obstacles. Follow your gut and you will see, that step by step, you will get closer to your big goal!

The new quarterly’s resolutions will help you focus on the way towards your big goal.

Before you sit down and write a list of your new quarterly goals, make sure you are in a good mood. If it doesn’t feel right at the moment or you are stressed or distracted, just give it another day and write down all your goals, whenever you feel good and motivated.

I promise you: if you stick to this, you will feel sooooooo motivated and happy. It will help you realize that everything is achievable.

Everything is possible really! Especially with the right mindset 🙂

Too positive? NO! :)

Hi everybody,

Today I want to share the following with you.

The last couple of weeks I have been told the following:

YOU ARE WAY TOO POSITIVE.

Now, I definitely take this up as a compliment. However, I think it was meant as an insult or comlpaint. Like I am just “too much” or just “too happy”.

When I was being told exactly that, i burst out laughing. As I said, I take it as a compliment, even though it wasn’t meant to be one.

It is hard enough to keep up your positive attitude and thoughts in a world of negative thinker. If someone does not like my presence or things that I say, then it simply shows me that this person is not on the same frequency as I am. And that’s totally OK.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those “happy hippy” ones trying to spread love all the time. When I receive that kind of reaction though, I simply know then: They are not the right people in my life at the moment. Just doesn’t resonate. And that’s totally fine.

My advise to anyone out there who gets to hear the same: Don’t let others define you like that and don’t let them turn your beautiful mindset and attitude in something negative. If they don’t like it, that’s ok, because you most likely don’t like their mindset either.

Til later!

 

Numbing

Hello my fellow reader’s,

 

I was thinking for a while which post I am going to write next. I think I finally came to a conclusion.

This is probably just an observation for myself but maybe someone can relate to this?

Since I started meditating a few months back, I noticed, that meditating opens up a pit of feelings. Very intense feelings.

Depending on your current life-circumstances it can be all wonderful or all painful.

For me it was the later.

I decided to let this feelings and emotions happen. It was always very intense and painful but I figured that this was also a good way to release old and negative thoughts and emotions. It helped me healing.

Now….before I started meditating, I wasn’t ready to face all this. Hence all my adventures last year, that I consciously choose to experience. This was, to simply not confront my feelings that were lurking around.

Another way of numbing myself is/was to watch TV shows. For me, watching TV shows until i feel asleep, worked just fine. The next day I went for work or did something else to not confront my inner feelings that needed to come out.

When I was ready (or maybe only because I started meditating), I eventually learned to face what needed to be faced. And even though I hated it so much, I pushed through it. Might as well get over with it right?

To be fair, it helped big time. I highly recommend it to everybody.

Do not numb yourself. I know it is so painful and you feel like you gonna die because of the pain, but you wont!

When you feel like numbing yourself (having drinks, constantly being “on the go”, unable to be alone, etc.) think of this:

To numb ourselves means, that we need a hug. We need someone to hold us in their arms saying: everything is gonna be okay.

Allow yourself to surround yourself with family and friends. Online Communities can also be a massive help. There is many people out there who went through the exact same or something very similar. Don’t be afraid to ask for some guidance. Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and confront your feelings.

Everything will be okay again.

 

 

Don’t focus on the result…

I need to share this today.

A short and sweet blog post. This is something that I found so accurate and true, I really want to keep this on my mind.

I saw a video today, a woman was practicing her vocals, with her teacher right beside her giving her tips whilst doing so.

The woman nailed it! Both, her and the teacher were so happy and excited, a pure pleasure to watch.

Then the teacher said “ok, lets do it again”. So the woman started to practice again.

But then the teacher told her, to not go for the result straight away. Because she already nailed it. But rather go into the process of how to reach the result and try figure out how she just did it. Because only that way she will manage the same result again.

Of course she could just nail it without much thinking, but it would be rather luck than technique.

This just struck me.

What an amazing piece of advice. Keeping the focus on the process and how to reach the result. That reminds me of the saying that Happiness isn’t the goal but rather the journey.

Love it!

Meeting David Duchovny in Glasgow

In relation to my blog and its purpose (to go for it in life!), I would like to write about my experience in Glasgow in May 2016 when I was able to meet –the one and only– David Duchovny.

So….funnily enough it all started out with the law of attraction in November 2015. I remember this very well because this just left me stunned. As the LOA always does.

Without even knowing that David Duchovny is also singing (and with an album out at this stage), I was randomly thinking about how cool it would be to get to meet him! Just to say “thank you” in person. I always felt that way towards artists and I actually have some kind of list of actors, artists or musicians that I would like to meet, just to tell them how grateful I am for their art and how it affected me in my life. I know that sounds strange, but I always felt that way.

Anyway, so I was thinking away how cool it would be to meet David Duchovny.

And I kid you not, a day after, I heard about his upcoming first European tour to introduce his new album Hell or Highwater. I couldn’t believe it. I was just thinking about him a day beforehand and how cool it would be to meet him in real life and then this happens! 🙂

Of course I didn’t attract a full planned European tour overnight, I’m aware of that. That was already planned for ages. But I wasn’t following any of David Duchovny’s Social Media accounts so this was kinda cool to hear –out of the blue- about his upcoming tour!

I just couldn’t believe it!

First, I checked out his album because I was skeptical. To my surprise, it is pretty good and I like it a lot!

The excitement level went up a good bit!!! Seeing David Duchovny LIVE? I couldn’t believe it.

BUT. It gets better.

Second, it turns out that he was also offering Meet & Greets! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I still can’t haha.

So not only was I able to go and see David Duchovny in Glasgow live…there was also the possibility to have a Meet & Greet with him!

I just couldn’t let this opportunity go, so I bought my ticket straight away. I still remember all the excitement and how I couldn’t believe that one of my dreams came true!! I WAS GOING TO MEET DAVID DUCHOVNY. I was so excited! And still get excited by typing this.

Now, this was back in November 2015.

So, after my shitty turn of circumstances aka the break-up in early 2016, I wasn’t really looking forward to much at all (Read here about it)

However, I knew I had to stay focused and either completely distract myself and deal with the feelings later or just deal with it and focus on the good things to come. Eventually I chose option 2. After my first mini-trip to London (and feeling significantly better after it), I was actually looking forward to early May to meet the man himself. Read here about London

After London, I kept my head down, dealt with my feelings, met friends who supported me, worked my ass off and focused on “the light at the end of the tunnel”. In-between I tried to have some mini-adventures or events like this one, to stay on track and be able to live from one Point to the next.

This shouldn’t be the way of how you live your life in general but when you are feeling so bad, depressed, and sad, this will help you to slowly but surely pull out of it. It really does depend on you and the circumstances you surround yourself with.

Anyway.

So there it was. May.

I flew to Glasgow for less than 3 days. I was on a budget but it worked out beautifully. The weather was nice. I met random and very nice people. I had a fantastic time!

And the best of it all: YES I met David Duchovny.

Now…I could write so much more about all the details and how awesome it was. How nervous I was and so on. But this post is already longer than I thought it would be so I just leave you with this:

It was like a dream come true!

It was a fantastic experience and I enjoyed every minute of it. It helped me to pull through, and for the probably first time after months of feeling depressed, I felt better. I was able to stay more positive…and feel it. I was able to remember why it is worth doing what I did. Keep fighting with my inner demons and thoughts. I not only saw “the light at the end of the tunnel” but I also started to feel it. And this is so important when you feel down.

Life finally started to get better.

 

More on that later.

 

 

 

Positive thoughts vs. negative thoughts

This morning, whilst I walked to work, I realized something funny.

Well, I’m more than aware of this for many years, but this was just the perfect example I had to share today.

It is in regards of how you look at things and how much power your thoughts have over you.

So, I was walking towards the office and it was pretty cold. It wasn’t that cold for a long time (2C/39F), so I wasn’t quite prepared for it and felt cold. I could feel the cold creeping into my bones and joints. Automatically your legs feel heavier and heavier and every step made me very much aware of my joints and body. I was uncomfortable.

For a split second, the following thoughts creeped into my mind: What if I am getting old? What if I have an issue with my joints in cold weather? What if I have an issue altogether with my joints?

I remembered an old and very good friend of mine, who would immediately think of such things and she would start to get really worried and afraid.

But (thank god), my normal self kicked in and recognized those thoughts. I had to laugh. Since I started meditating on a daily basis, I am able to control thoughts way better. Its not just controlling, its more noticing them and then evaluating: is this a valid thought? Is this coming from within? Or is this something from the outside that might jumps into my head and therefore not applicable to me (simple: bullshit?)

Meditation is a wonderful thing to do and I highly recommend it.

Anyway, when I recognized and realized that those (negative) thoughts are not really “my” thoughts but just something that comes from the outside or I would have heard before from other people, I figured out quiet quickly that there is no issue with my joints or body.

I had to giggle and walked into the office with a big smile on my face.

Here is the difference:

Are you aware of your thoughts? If not, you might get lost in all the doubts and negative thinking, which makes you feel anxious and full of worry (for who knows how long!!)

If you are aware of them, you can quickly turn them around or simply look at it from a positive angle (positive thinking).

In my example above I came to following conclusion:

It is cold. Yes, my legs feel heavy. But I am perfectly fine and healthy. The cold weather makes me aware of parts of my body that I normally don’t feel that way (joints etc). I’m immediately grateful for my joints, legs, etc.

I smile. Because I feel so much gratitude for my body. I got reminded to feel grateful. So many possibilities I have because of my body .

And with that sudden peace of mind I walked into the office. In the best of mood.

Be aware of your thoughts. They are not always as true as you think they are!

 

The law of attraction- and how it works best

Today I would like to write about a topic that plays a huge part in my life.

If you know “The Secret” and its books, you are probably familiar with all the usual attraction- techniques.

The most common ones are the vision board (putting pictures/words etc. up on a board/wall/somewhere visible) and writing down your goals and thoughts.

To not make this blog post too long, I will jump straight away to the techniques and not into how the Law of Attraction (LOA) works altogether. I might write about it in another post though. Let’s see.

Anyway.

I read most of The Secret books and also many other books or websites that are focused on how to attract things/situations/people (everything really) into your life.

After about 7 years consciously practicing it (and also often not being aware of what I just attracted), I pretty much figured out the best way FOR MYSELF.

Many people actually love to put up affirmations, pictures or just vision boards in general, to remind them daily of their goals.

Because so many people talked about it and followed this approach, I thought this would work out for me too. I’m quiet the “visual”  type when it comes to memorizing stuff, studying and so on so I thought this would be naturally the best way for me too.

Boy was I wrong.

Now, I’m not saying that it wont work for me at all but I would like to make you aware of the following:

There is so many approaches out there, but in the end you need to find out the best approach for yourself…and use it…try it…improve it…and just see how it will go for you.

I noticed that the following works best for me and hopefully it gives you some ideas too or simply helps you to attract whatever you want in life!

#1: Writing down what you would like to attract. Being specific definitely helps. I normally start with small stuff that I know will lead naturally into something bigger. Or start with small goals and then just re-write it to attract the next step. Baby steps is definitely the key-word here!

#2: Feeling good whilst writing it down. Make sure you are in a good mood/high vibe when you sit down to think about your goal. Do not sit down writing stuff out of desperation/frustration or because you feel shitty but want to feel better.

To get out of the negative vibe…well I might write about that in another post as well to keep this one short and sweet. But its really really important to only write down your goals once you are in a happy place. And feel good. If you want to write it down but you are simply not in the mood for it, listen to your body/feelings and do it another time.

#3: Let go. Yes I know, this is definitely the hardest part. I used to focus so much on HOW to let go that I completely missed the fact that I’m perfectly fine with letting stuff go. Naturally.

How? After I wrote stuff down, I just carry on doing something else. As mentioned above, in a good and happy mood. Maybe I have to go somewhere else anyway. Or maybe I go outside and walk my dog.

So what helps best is to distract yourself from the goals immediately.

We then forget about the written stuff for a while, and that leads me to my next point!

Personally for me this is nearly the most important one:

#4: DO NOT MAKE YOUR LIST VISIBLE. Note: this is my personal experience, for you it might be the exact opposite. For me it helps to not read or look at my written down goals at all. I just leave the sheet of paper or journal somewhere else and avoid looking at it or reading it. Best: put it out of your sight completely so you wont even think about the written down stuff. WHY? It helps me to not focus on what I wrote down. To let go. Now, in the back of my head I obviously still have the goals saved and once in a while I think about them. Or when I come across opportunities that remind me of them.

But if I hang up my goals/vision board and keep seeing them on a daily basis? It actually frustrates me. I am not patient (still working on that), so when I keep seeing my goals but I haven’t reached them yet (even though I know some of them just take their time), I get frustrated. And that’s the last thing you would want!!! Because that most certainly will not help you attract any of your goals. I must admit that this last step took me quiet a while to figure out. But better late than never right?

So again:

  • Write it down (be specific if you can)- start with small stuff first (baby steps)
  • Be in a good mood/high vibe/happy place whilst writing it down
  • Let go
  • Hide the list and not look at it anymore (or if you are the opposite: put it up on a wall/vision board to remind yourself of your goals)

 

I wonder if there is people out there, who do it that way as well. I never heard anyone talking about it anyway hence it took me a good few years to actually realize how it works the very best for me.

I just had to share this, I hope it helped and if not:

Let me know how you attract your goals & dreams and what approach you take.

Be good!

 

London calling!

Isn’t it funny how your perspective on things changes, once the circumstances in your life change?

This is something that I learned last year (April), when I had to actually leave the house (except for work, this was a big enough task at that time).

I referred to it in my previous blog post already.

I went through a very tough and dark phase after a break up and spent about 2 months just staying at home trying to nurse myself back to a normal state of mind. In between there was a lot of crying and dark thoughts.

Depending on the relationship and how far involved you are, it can be pretty devastating once it comes to an end. I just couldn’t let go and had all sorts of bad thoughts about myself.

I blamed myself for everything, I was looking for what I did wrong and what I could have done better. I went through so many weird stages (well my thoughts did) and its not easy to admit this but I think its good to share this in case you are/were in a similar situation.
I personally would have LOVED if someone wrote about it, because at that time, I felt so alone. Like nobody would understand that kind of feeling that I went through.

This was the worst. I thought nobody would understand my pain.

Now, this sounds quiet depressing, but don’t you worry, it gets better now.

I just want to give you some insight, so this makes more sense for you.

Now: I felt shitty, depressed and not good at all.

But there was that trip that I had booked already! It was a trip to London!

One of my best friends and his girlfriend had to go to London for work, so I said: why not meeting up there? I live in Ireland and my friend in middle Europe.

This was an easy enough trip for me and I could do with a friendly face or two.

I remember being in London before, but back then, I didn’t like it at all.

This brings me to my first sentence in this blog.

Isn’t it funny how your perspective on things changes, once the circumstances in your life change?

When I went to London for the very first time, I was still single. I wasn’t in a good mood back then and I remember not really wanting to be there (but I went over for a concert, so that was nice!).

I nearly hated it and cant even remember why exactly. I was simply not in a good mood/place at that time.

But then I went over again to see one of my best friends. I haven’t seen him for quiet a while so I got really excited. And because of the fact that I got so excited after 2 months feeling dead inside, I got even more excited!

There I was now. In London!

I must admit: we had a fantastic time. It was only for 2 days but besides spending some quality time together and talking about our problems in life, I also quiet enjoyed London itself!

My friend is a London fan, so he might just got me into it through his enthusiasm and excitement. But this was perfect! Exactly what I needed.

Since then, I see London with different eyes. I quiet enjoyed it and was surprised HOW MUCH I enjoyed it. I actually cant wait to be back at some stage, because my view on London changed. To the better.

And what changed?

Circumstances and people around me.

Isn’t this amazing? Something so simple can drastically improve your experience or life itself!

This was not the first time that my outlook on a city/country/situation changed last year through that change of circumstances.

But that will be written down another time.

So my conclusion:

If you experience something “negative” and think: I really don’t like this. I don’t enjoy it. Its shit!

Think about this: Are you in a bad place yourself at the moment? Are you having negative people around you? Did you try look at it from a neutral/positive point of view?

Always make sure you are not surrendered by negative people before judging a situation!

This shall be enough for today, thank you for reading everything!